Sunday Spotlight with Stephan Labossiere
By: Lauren Francis-Jackson
Sunday Spotlight features business owners, bloggers, natural divas, beauty companies, and more as they share their story with The Sisterlocked Diva family! As we begin the month of love, I had a pleasure of chatting with Stephan Labossiere, relationship and life coach who is also a personal trainer! He was very engaging and easy to talk to. Read below as he shares about his loc journey, his first book. and relationships:
The Sisterlocked
Diva: Thanks for taking time to chat
with me Stephan! Looking forward to
learning more about your book!
Stephan Labossiere: Yes,
thank you for reaching out to me about this interview!
The Sisterlocked
Diva: Great, let’s get started! Tell me about your loc journey.
Stephan Labossiere: I would always grow then cut my hair when I
was growing up. I was wearing cornrows
up until age 27. At age 27, I was like I
am going to loc or cut my hair—getting too old to wear cornrows. Because of my softer hair texture, it look a
long time to loc but I love my locs! I
have had locs for 3 or 4 years, and I am not cutting them off anytime soon!
The Sisterlocked
Diva: They look amazing! Love the way you have embraced your loc
journey. Do you maintain them yourself
or go to loctician?
Stephan Labossiere: Thanks,
I go to a loctician here in Atlanta, GA.
The Sisterlocked
Diva: Oh ok, nice! Let’s talk about you as an author. What motivated you to begin writing?
Stephan Labossiere: It’s
funny! I hate writing. I am a man of GOD, and I felt that God was
telling me to write this book on relationships.
I was counseling couples and coaching them. When I began researching how to promote a
book, I saw that promotion through a blog was the way to go! Then I began my blog, so it’s just funny
coming from a non-writer!
The Sisterlocked
Diva: You said that you are coaching
couples in the Miami area before moving to Georgia— are you a certified
counselor?
Stephan Labossiere: No I am a certified life coach and
relationship expert. I am also a
certified personal trainer. My
background is a BA degree in information management systems (IT field).
The Sisterlockd
Diva: Wow, you have some diverse
talents! What does being a certified
life and relationship coach involve?
Stephan Labossiere: As a
life coach, one just helps people with moving their life forward. My main focus is on relationships however can
coach in other areas—like career building.
The Sisterlocked
Diva: How did you become interested
in helping people with their relationships?
Stephan Labossiere: As I
was growing up, people always ran to me with their problems. These people would tell me their deep dark
secrets, things they haven’t shared with those close to him/her. Once I got closer to God, it became clear
that He wanted me to share my talent and help others.
The Sisterlocked
Diva: That is great! Lots of people need help with relationships,
romantic or non-romantic. Let’s chat
about romantic relationships since we are entering the month of love soon. What
are the keys to a solid healthy relationship?
Stephan Labossiere: So
true how many people struggle to have healthy relationships! Communication, honesty, friendship, loving
oneself before loving someone else, and
spiritual foundation.
The foundation of the relationship is based on the individual. When praying for a spouse, you should be
praying about if you should be with the person not choosing the person and
saying and make it work. The biggest
component is you need to talk and have a relationship with Him.
The Sisterlocked
Diva: Absolutely! People try to do the picking, and hope that
it can work out! We need to look at if
we are really meant to be with that person.
Spiritual connection is important!
What are some of the biggest problems in relationships?
Stephan Labossiere: People
are lying to themselves and each other.
In order to build positive relationships, we need an honest look with
ourselves and examine why are we lying.
It leads to mistrust that can extend to future relationships. Also women love talking to their
girlfriends! But what kills me is when
her friends just go along with the foolishness she is talking about with her
man. You are just enabling her! Women are smart creatures and they know the warning signs. They see them yet look at a million reasons
as to why it will work. Then when it
doesn’t work, then they want to ask, “Oh why did God do this to me??”. They are crying, and devastated, however that
wasn’t God!
The Sisterlocked
Diva: Yes, as women we sometimes do
blab to our girlfriends, especially when things are not going well. What is your opinion about girlfriend talk
with her girlfriends about the relationship?
Stephan Labossiere: You
need to be careful when talking to your girlfriends about your relationship. When
talking negatively about her man, the girlfriends have a tendency to
listen. By doing this as the friend, you
are just agreeing and going along with the foolishness that is occurring in the
relationship. Instead, the friend should be honest with her. If
the man is not treating her well or not giving her the best like she deserves,
be honest with your friend.
The Sisterlocked
Diva: Sometimes, that is hard to
do! The friend may have the best
intentions, however that does not guarantee that the girlfriend in the
relationship will take it well. How do
you embrace your own relationship?
Stephan Labossiere: I am
currently single. This is GOD’s message
to me right now. I don’t think that with
everything I can do with writing that I could be a good attentive partner in a
relationship and carry out my message with my blog and books.
The Sisterlocked
Diva: That’s understandable. You speak a lot about your relationship with
God, and that is an excellent plus for a lot of women. As a man of God, what does it mean to lead in
the relationship?
Stephan Labossiere: The
man needs to submit to God. You need to
set the tone—lead by example. That is to
set the positive tone and take responsibility.
He gives you the guidance of what to do as a man. When a woman sees that you are living life on
God’s terms, she will have no problems submitting to you.
The Sisterlocked
Diva: I agree that a man needs to
know how to lead, but he needs to know how to serve as an equal partner as
well. Let’s get into the book. What is the current book about?
Stephan Labossiere: My
current book is called “How To Get A Woman to Have Sex With You If You’re Her Husband”. Sex is emotional and mental for a woman, it
is more than just physical. The man
tends to think of it as a physical act, making it difficult to meet a woman’s
needs. You need to connect with her in and outside
the bedroom. Men need to nurture the emotional connection with the woman
outside the bedroom. I also talk with
the women about their choices when it comes to sex. Women can have amazing sex with a loser like
a thug or an unmotivated man going nowhere in life.
This is possible because there is no emotional
connection—women is more receptive because there is no value in the
relationship. He just has to be
physically up to par. Also I talk about women being terrified of finding real
love. Most women don’t want to be with
the number one guy on their list. Too
much at stake because that man can devastate her so she goes with number two or
three. Men also do this, however it
occurs more with women.
The Sisterlocked
Diva: It sounds like a real talk
about relationships. So what’s the
second book and when is it coming out?
Stephan Labossiere: My
second book is called “That’s The Problem With Single Women”. I want
women to look at themselves and what is holding them back from happiness and
love. There is this phenomenon that I
see with young women that I like to call the “Ho Stroll”. The “Ho Stroll” is a period of time where
women are more loose and promiscuous than at any other point in her life. Not too many people know about it, but
eventually they slow down. Promiscuousness
does not equal loving sex—it usually is a deeper issue whether it be giving a
man what they want or sexual abuse. The
real problem is that women do not discuss this with other women to prevent
others from engaging in this behavior.
It will be released later on this year.
The Sisterlocked
Diva: That’s some pretty heavy
stuff! Hope women are not turned off by
your "ho" terminology. Onto a different
topic, how did you get into becoming a personal trainer?
Stephan Labossiere: I
began working with my brother in law who has his doctorate in physical therapy. We began to work with a clinic connected to a
bariatric surgery unit.
The Sisterlocked
Diva: Wow that can be challenging
since those clients have a more significant amount of weight to lose.
Stephan Labossiere:
Absolutly, and weight can also be a barrier for relationships. Health and fitness is a major issue in the
Black community. I find women are more
about image than health. You can love
who you are as a person and can strive to improve the outside. In the
black community skinny seems to equal healthy, however that is not always
true. You can be skinny and have medical
issues like diabetes and high blood pressure.
The Sisterlocked
Diva: I know that I try to exercise and
change my eating habits for health. What
do you know about the connection between hair and health and fitness?
Stephan Labossiere: I do
know that there is a connection because what you put in your hair affects your
body and vice versa. This is what my
stylist says all the time.
Check out Stephan online at www.stephanspeaks.com, and on Facebook and Twitter as Stephan Labossiere!
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