Monday, February 4, 2013

Sunday Spotlight with Stephan Labossiere



Sunday Spotlight with Stephan Labossiere

By:  Lauren Francis-Jackson
 
 
Sunday Spotlight features business owners, bloggers, natural divas, beauty companies, and more as they share their story with The Sisterlocked Diva family! As we begin the month of love, I had a pleasure of chatting with Stephan Labossiere, relationship and life coach who is also a personal trainer!  He was very engaging and easy to talk to.  Read below as he shares about his loc journey, his first book. and relationships: 
 
 
The Sisterlocked Diva:  Thanks for taking time to chat with me Stephan!  Looking forward to learning more about your book!
Stephan Labossiere:  Yes, thank you for reaching out to me about this interview!
The Sisterlocked Diva:  Great, let’s get started!  Tell me about your loc journey.
Stephan Labossiere: I would always grow then cut my hair when I was growing up.  I was wearing cornrows up until age 27.  At age 27, I was like I am going to loc or cut my hair—getting too old to wear cornrows.  Because of my softer hair texture, it look a long time to loc but I love my locs!  I have had locs for 3 or 4 years, and I am not cutting them off anytime soon!
The Sisterlocked Diva:  They look amazing!  Love the way you have embraced your loc journey.  Do you maintain them yourself or go to loctician? 
Stephan Labossiere:  Thanks, I go to a loctician here in Atlanta, GA. 
The Sisterlocked Diva:  Oh ok, nice!  Let’s talk about you as an author.  What motivated you to begin writing?
Stephan Labossiere:  It’s funny!  I hate writing.  I am a man of GOD, and I felt that God was telling me to write this book on relationships.  I was counseling couples and coaching them.  When I began researching how to promote a book, I saw that promotion through a blog was the way to go!  Then I began my blog, so it’s just funny coming from a non-writer!
The Sisterlocked Diva:  You said that you are coaching couples in the Miami area before moving to Georgia— are you a certified counselor?
Stephan Labossiere: No I am a certified life coach and relationship expert.  I am also a certified personal trainer.  My background is a BA degree in information management systems (IT field). 
The Sisterlockd Diva:  Wow, you have some diverse talents!  What does being a certified life and relationship coach involve?
Stephan Labossiere:  As a life coach, one just helps people with moving their life forward.  My main focus is on relationships however can coach in other areas—like career building. 
The Sisterlocked Diva:  How did you become interested in helping people with their relationships?
Stephan Labossiere:  As I was growing up, people always ran to me with their problems.  These people would tell me their deep dark secrets, things they haven’t shared with those close to him/her.  Once I got closer to God, it became clear that He wanted me to share my talent and help others. 

 
The Sisterlocked Diva:  That is great!  Lots of people need help with relationships, romantic or non-romantic.  Let’s chat about romantic relationships since we are entering the month of love soon. What are the keys to a solid healthy relationship?
Stephan Labossiere:  So true how many people struggle to have healthy relationships!  Communication, honesty, friendship, loving oneself before loving someone else, and
spiritual foundation.  The foundation of the relationship is based on the individual.  When praying for a spouse, you should be praying about if you should be with the person not choosing the person and saying and make it work.  The biggest component is you need to talk and have a relationship with Him. 
The Sisterlocked Diva:  Absolutely!  People try to do the picking, and hope that it can work out!  We need to look at if we are really meant to be with that person.  Spiritual connection is important!  What are some of the biggest problems in relationships?
Stephan Labossiere:  People are lying to themselves and each other.  In order to build positive relationships, we need an honest look with ourselves and examine why are we lying.  It leads to mistrust that can extend to future relationships.  Also women love talking to their girlfriends!  But what kills me is when her friends just go along with the foolishness she is talking about with her man.  You are just enabling her!  Women are smart creatures and they know the warning signs.  They see them yet look at a million reasons as to why it will work.  Then when it doesn’t work, then they want to ask, “Oh why did God do this to me??”.  They are crying, and devastated, however that wasn’t God! 
The Sisterlocked Diva:  Yes, as women we sometimes do blab to our girlfriends, especially when things are not going well.  What is your opinion about girlfriend talk with her girlfriends about the relationship?
Stephan Labossiere:  You need to be careful when talking to your girlfriends about your relationship. When talking negatively about her man, the girlfriends have a tendency to listen.  By doing this as the friend, you are just agreeing and going along with the foolishness that is occurring in the relationship.   Instead, the friend should be honest with  her.  If the man is not treating her well or not giving her the best like she deserves, be honest with your friend. 
The Sisterlocked Diva:  Sometimes, that is hard to do!  The friend may have the best intentions, however that does not guarantee that the girlfriend in the relationship will take it well.  How do you embrace your own relationship? 
Stephan Labossiere:  I am currently single.  This is GOD’s message to me right now.  I don’t think that with everything I can do with writing that I could be a good attentive partner in a relationship and carry out my message with my blog and books. 
The Sisterlocked Diva:  That’s understandable.  You speak a lot about your relationship with God, and that is an excellent plus for a lot of women.  As a man of God, what does it mean to lead in the relationship?
Stephan Labossiere:  The man needs to submit to God.  You need to set the tone—lead by example.  That is to set the positive tone and take responsibility.  He gives you the guidance of what to do as a man.  When a woman sees that you are living life on God’s terms, she will have no problems submitting to you.
 
 
The Sisterlocked Diva:  I agree that a man needs to know how to lead, but he needs to know how to serve as an equal partner as well.  Let’s get into the book.  What is the current book about?
Stephan Labossiere:  My current book is called “How To Get A Woman to Have Sex With You If You’re Her Husband”.  Sex is emotional and mental for a woman, it is more than just physical.  The man tends to think of it as a physical act, making it difficult to meet a woman’s needs.    You need to connect with her in and outside the bedroom.  Men need to nurture the emotional connection with the woman outside the bedroom.  I also talk with the women about their choices when it comes to sex.  Women can have amazing sex with a loser like a thug or an unmotivated man going nowhere in life. 
This is possible because there is no emotional connection—women is more receptive because there is no value in the relationship.  He just has to be physically up to par.  Also I talk about women being terrified of finding real love.  Most women don’t want to be with the number one guy on their list.  Too much at stake because that man can devastate her so she goes with number two or three.  Men also do this, however it occurs more with women. 
The Sisterlocked Diva:  It sounds like a real talk about relationships.  So what’s the second book and when is it coming out?
Stephan Labossiere:  My second book is called “That’s The Problem With Single Women”.   I want women to look at themselves and what is holding them back from happiness and love.  There is this phenomenon that I see with young women that I like to call the “Ho Stroll”.  The “Ho Stroll” is a period of time where women are more loose and promiscuous than at any other point in her life.  Not too many people know about it, but eventually they slow down.  Promiscuousness does not equal loving sex—it usually is a deeper issue whether it be giving a man what they want or sexual abuse.  The real problem is that women do not discuss this with other women to prevent others from engaging in this behavior.  It will be released later on this year. 
The Sisterlocked Diva:  That’s some pretty heavy stuff!  Hope women are not turned off by your "ho" terminology.  Onto a different topic, how did you get into becoming a personal trainer?
Stephan Labossiere:  I began working with my brother in law who has his doctorate in physical therapy.  We began to work with a clinic connected to a bariatric surgery unit.
The Sisterlocked Diva:  Wow that can be challenging since those clients have a more significant amount of weight to lose.
Stephan Labossiere:  Absolutly, and weight can also be a barrier for relationships.  Health and fitness is a major issue in the Black community.  I find women are more about image than health.  You can love who you are as a person and can strive to improve the outside.   In the black community skinny seems to equal healthy, however that is not always true.  You can be skinny and have medical issues like diabetes and high blood pressure.
The Sisterlocked Diva:  I know that I try to exercise and change my eating habits for health.  What do you know about the connection between hair and health and fitness?
Stephan Labossiere:  I do know that there is a connection because what you put in your hair affects your body and vice versa.  This is what my stylist says all the time. 
 The Sisterlocked Diva:  I agree, and I think as a natural hair blogger that we should talk more about overall health and hair health.  Thanks for your time, Stephan.  Looking forward to your next book!   
 
 
Check out Stephan online at www.stephanspeaks.com, and on Facebook and Twitter as Stephan Labossiere!


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